Blogging the Bulge in this year´s Mister España

I was thinking of going out tonight for some quick action in the coast´s darkest holes when I suddenly realized that the gay capital of Torremolinos should be empty tonight. Why? Because Mister España is on!

Immediately, I´ve searched for the candidates´pictures on the net so we can orgasmically blog about it. Mind you, I have seen Miss España last year and I found out why, despite the fact that Spanish women are gorgeous, they never win any major beauty pageants (they only have one Miss Universe in the 70´s)---they don´t have any talent nor question and answer portions!

Backstage, the presenter asked the losers how they felt and one of the girls said ¨ What do you want me to say? I feel so bad,bad,bad!¨ . Whew! That´s not even a very queenly answer, don´t you think so? Tonight, is the first time I´m gonna watch the male version so I got my KY Jelly, lotion and cup of olive oil handy, just in case.

So here´s the lovely, steroid men. Have a feast!

Let´s start with...¨I was just buying a baguette in the store then suddenly found my self here.¨

Yes, he is a contestant. Don´t ask me why but the screening committee must have been blinded by his super white skin and boyish looks. He comes from the province of Zamora. It must be snowing there all year round. Boy, you need some sun.Really.



He is a girl, girl girl! Just look at the hair, the tits and the shape. I wonder if he joined the wrong contest altogether. Nice bulge though. Too bad I don´t think that is the MAIN criteria for judging the winner. An overall make over is essential for this boy. A little bit of liposuction in the waistline and the 14-year-old-girl´s breasts, facial and laser treatments to fixed the moles and teenage acne and for christ´s sake, Cut the f*ng hair!


Mister Cuenca just looks like my drag hairdresser. `nuf said.


Too much Coke honey? Sniff, sniff, sniff. Try food. It´s good for you.

Baby, you should fire your stylist right here, right now! I mean, look, you've got a great body, an angelic face and all but you were made up just too much, too wrong--the hair; too black, too coiffured; two many ear studs, too much foundation, too much lip gloss! Oh, by the way, are you sure it´s the make up artist or you did it YOURSELF?


And last and definitely the least. I mean least because I can´t see anything on the aqua blue speedos even if I zoom in ten times! Where´s the BULGE honey, did you leave it at home? You could have used your socks, towel or anything. Damn, you could have gone to the fruit stand and buy some bananas just to keep the illusion alive!


Okay, enough of the nuisance candidates. Let´s now have a look at the yummy, lovely, delicious boys that will definitely make us cream on our underpants.

Meet Mr. Madrid. I think he will sweep the awards including the title this year. He´s got that I-will-fuck-you hard-until-you-forget-your-name face. So sexy. And the hair! huff! He´s got this chiseled square face, he seemed to pop out of some Armani ad or something. I bet he will win. If I would be correct, I´m gonna fuck myself with a 12-inch pink dildo.

Mr. Las Palmas is immaculately clean he almost look like a hollywood starlet! Nice teeth lasered-white to perfection, clean cut hair, athlete legs and a decent package. Finally, someone did his assignment.



Mr. Jaén, just like the olive oil that his province is known for, is Buenisimo!! Although he doesn´t have fantastic face, you can always scroll down and look from the neck below to see lean meat! And look at that bulge! I might choke on that one. It never happened to me yet but there´s always the first time.




Mr. Ceuta is just so fucking hooooooot!!! His bronze skin will surely make you drool at first sight. The body is perfect and the face is fuckable. Gosh, I´m losing my vocabulary just staring at his crotch area. He looks like a wife beater though. Well I say, you can beat me anytime you want baby.

Okay, that´s it. Some of the contestant in this year´s Mister España. Vote for your man. In the meantime, the show is now starting and I have to go. My KY is waiting.
Un Beso!

Complete photos here in 20minutos

Terrorized in Torremolinos

I didn´t have any plans of going out Saturday night at all. However; that morning I went to my optician in Miramar Shopping Mall in Fuengirola and in my trip to the loo to have a piss (only), I encountered a Beautiful and I mean Beautiful Spanish boy of about 22 years old who was cruising shamelessly with his beautiful pink, fat uncut penis standing tall and proud for everyone to see. It was about 10 am and the mall had just practically opened. I stood next to him in the urinal and we touched each other. Suddenly more people were coming in and I lost every inch of mood I had. I went back to my senses. God! I´m too old for this kind of shit! My cruising days in public toilets were sooo in the 90´s. I am 25 years old now and having sex in filthy stalls with smell of scrap and urine for me should be left as a lousy plot to a hardcore porn film! Anyway, the sight of the lascivious gorgeous boy´s dick warmed me inside and I thought I would like to have my own piece of that meat that night. So, after insisting Antonio a million times (he planned to have a quiet weekend as well) to come with me for a quick fuck in the sin city of Torremolinos, he finally gave in and at exactly 12 midnight, we began to hit the bars.

First stop: MEN´s Bar.

This bar is the ¨grandmother¨ of all the gay bars in Torremolinos. One of the pioneers in La Nogalera (the gay district of Torremolinos), the bar is a favorite for mature men. When I say mature, this is from 40-90. Yes, daddies , grandaddies, great-grandaddies, and great great grandaddies. The bar gets filled about 1 am so after ordering our drinks we settled ourselves glued to the porn film on the bar´s TV while the hideous Crazy Frog song plays in the background . They were showing Troop Review and after twenty minutes, I decided to do my own review of what´s going on downstairs, in the darkroom. To my surprise, it was packed! No wonder why the bar was practically empty--- everyone´s there! The smell was not for the faint hearted, though. You know how it is. I would not elaborate on that anymore.

Anyway, since the daddies want another daddy, I was left in the dark alone and untouched. The more white hair you have all over your body (or the lack of hair at all) and the bigger beer belly you have, the more chances of getting laid in MEN´s darkroom. There are cabins and cells inside for privacy although you could always get comfy in a dark corner especially when it gets barely breathable on a Saturday night. I didn´t have much luck and the man who wanted me smelled like cadaver. I went back upstairs and asked Antonio to hit the bar nextdoor.

Next Stop: Parthenon


Mixed but predominantly gay crowd, Parthenon is probably one of the best techno clubs in town. They have resident DJs playing good but sometimes hu-hum tunes and at about 3am the small centre stage is filled with gorgeous go-go boys like this:

We started dancing and the room is getting filled with the best looking boys and and a couple of fag hags. A blonde was dancing beside me but what got my attention was his shirt:

fucking awesome. general division of sons of bitches.

I told him I liked his shirt. He said he is Belgian and didn´t know what it meant. I told him it says he is a son of a bitch. He went away.

After an hour of gyrating with Muscled Marys and men who looked like they just popped out of a Dolce and Gabbana ad, we got tired and pressed ourselves out of the busy crowd. I wanted to check out the darkroom but suddenly decided against it since I still had the phobia of an incident that happened to me last New Year´s eve in that very same room. A Moroccan boy tried to steal my wallet! I ran after him and luckily I got my wallet back then gave him a gay Bruce Lee like kicking on the ass before he eventually disappeared into the darkness. I told the bouncer about it but when we went back, he was nowhere to be found. Mind you, the guy was wearing suit and tie and quite a hottie but thieves like him, no matter how orgasmic they are, deserve to be in jail or hell and not in clubs where happy and gay people are.

Enough of bad experiences.

Were were walking to our next stop, Morbos Bar when we bumped with bunch of trannies laughing like cheap whores in Malaga. We almost fell in shock when we finally realized, that the one in a fabulous BARBIE costume was our good friend, George!

It turned out that the Town Hall had arrange a costume party so he joined. In real life, George is a total butch. He´s got a body that you wish you had or if not, a body that you have in your bed. He likes it rough and sometimes goes for leather. Antonio asked him where he got his costume from. He said he had it shipped from his country Argentina while all the accessories was handmade by HIM! We were thrilled.

The boy´s dick in the public toilet was still in my mind however, after seeing George in his doll costume, all the fleshy thoughts in my mind suddenly disappeared. I dreamt of a pink dick not of a pink nightgown.

The waiter was staring..his brown eyes glued on mine, his muscles were calling me to touch them...his lips were whispering my name...My mind said NO but my throbbing cock said GO. I gave in and screamed: Vodka, por favor!!!